In 10 years . . .

. . . I'll be a Vice President.

. . . I'll have gone on a vacation with Ed.

. . . I'll have dominated someone on the volleyball court again with Mark Stagno as my setter.

. . . I'll have more nieces and nephews.

. . . I'll still drive a convertible.

. . . I'll be a little less hard on myself.

. . . I'll still like Twilight.

. . . I'll still love Seinfeld.

. . . I'll have reached my potential in a marathon . . . with Jeremy Vaille by my side.

. . . I'll have an incredibly beautiful and generous woman in my life . . . my Mom.

. . . I'll own a vacation home on Sebago Lake in Maine.

. . . I'll still wear cadet blue pants and seersucker vests (together).


. . . I'll still be drinking beer . . . and mojitos.


. . . I'll be thinking about my next career move.

. . . I'll live closer to my brothers.

. . . I'll have visited San Diego again . . . with J.T. in tow.

. . . I'll still say TWSS.

. . . I'll use the expression "FML" a little less frequently . . . I hope.

. . . I'll be taking myself more seriously (cringing).

. . . I'll have broken another heart.

. . . I'll have had my heart broken . . . again.

. . . I'll have some new jokes (no, seriously).

. . . I'll have said goodbye to some old friends and said hello to many new ones.

. . . I'll have learned something new that will have become an important part of my life.

. . . I'll have laughed more than I've cried.

. . . I'll have won more than I've lost.

. . . I'll have smiled more than I've frowned.

. . . I'll have loved more than I've hated.

. . . I'll have fought more than I've succumbed.

. . . I'll be 41 . . . and damn proud of it.

Inspired, Humbled, and Frustrated: Just Another Day at the Gym

Yesterday morning I woke up around 6 and was ready to hit the gym but not before engaging in one of my patented "doze, roll over, jerk awake, look at clock, roll eyes, repeat" routines for a good hour. I finally pulled myself out of bed around 7, muttering "FML" and chirping a few things to my cat before heading out the door. Half-awake, I shuffled over to the gym, dragged myself onto the treadmill and after the first mile, finally started to emerge mentally.

After my second mile, I noticed a guy climbing onto the treadmill next to me. After he started running, I realized I'd seen him before because I remembered him running with a funny gait. In particular, without turning and looking right at him, I could tell he was limping and I remember thinking a variety of things along the lines of "Why is this guy on a treadmill if he's limping? Shouldn't he be walking first before trying to run? Is this a rehab experiment gone bad? Is he stubborn? Is he an idiot? Is there anything I can do to help without coming off as a pompous jerk?"

Upon finishing my run, in between wiping down the treadmill and trying to stay upright, I decided to take a closer look and see if I could learn anything further about this guy. What I found was that he didn't have the build or form of your traditional runner. In fact, he was without his right leg and in its place, had a custom prosthetic leg similar to what this guy has:

Learning the true reason behind this guy's gait was pretty much the equivalent of a hard punch to the face. I was immediately feeling a lot of different things at once and while several would probably best fit in the "I'm an idiot" category, I was also inspired, humbled, and frustrated.

Inspired

A fairly obvious emotion to feel after seeing what I did but not something to be underestimated or under appreciated. There I was, having spent the morning griping, moping, and complaining to myself that getting out of bed at an early hour for a run was a major pain in the ass. My main motivation for doing so? Something along the lines of "I'll probably burn more fat this way not having eaten any breakfast and this should help to bring my abs out more." This guy next to me wakes up every day and has to deal with attaching a prosthetic device in order to be mobile. Not only that, but he goes to the gym, gets on the treadmill, and RUNS. After seeing this guy in action, I am going to be BRINGING IT on each and every run I do.

Humbled

I've achieved some things in my life but seeing this guy in action made me feel like I hadn't really done anything yet. I know it's a bit extreme to think like that but at the end of the day, I can't think of anything I've had to overcome and/or work through that would be on par with losing a leg. I had a really rough time with my knee several years ago, suffering through several surgeries and a struggle with narcotics-based pain management after what should have been a very simple procedure and recovery. While it was a very difficult experience for both me and my family, the only permanent impact that I can surmise has been my inability to get off the floor (or the sand) and hit a volleyball the way I used to . . . and yeah, I used to HIT volleyballs. My personality have been altered a bit b/c of the narcotics as I did find myself to be a lot more talkative and extroverted once I was med-free . . . but I have no hard evidence to back this claim up. Either way, I can't even begin to think about what it would be like for me today had those events led to my losing a leg . . .

Frustrated 

On the surface, I've got it pretty good right now. Internally, there's a lot of things going on. Over the last several years, I've grown increasingly frustrated with my inability to grow up. I can't point to any one aspect of my life that warrants more concern than others but suffice it to say, relationships, financial independence, career development, and general satisfaction with my life are all areas I've struggled with. Furthermore, my struggles with these things have led me to question every decision I make, over analyze things to the nth degree, and play way too many "what if" games. Ultimately, I know these events have kept me from reaching certain goals and exceeding not only my expectations, but those that others have of me. But you know what? I really don't have it that bad. And that is why seeing this guy frustrated me. Do I have things to worry about? Sure. Doesn't everyone? Yes. But these are things that are dealt with and managed such that they minimize the negative impact on our lives. Some are better than others at practicing this. I'm getting there. I have no idea where this guy is with regards to this phenomenon . . . maybe he has a relative with a terminal illness or is in a bad relationship. Maybe he's not getting what he wants out of his job or wishes he was living somewhere else. Maybe he's completely happy with his life and wouldn't change a thing. I don't know any of these things and I never will. However, seeing this guy run on the treadmill told me that in all likelihood, he isn't letting any frustration with his current situation keep him from doing the things he wants to.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love My Father

I love my father an awful lot but it's not something I tell him very often. I figured there couldn't be a more appropriate time to try and capture how much he means to me than on Father's Day. With that, I present the top ten reasons why I love my father:

1. His love for Maine

All of the times at Point Sebago, my decision to attend Bates College, my hope to have a vacation home in Maine someday . . . these all are because of the time my father spent in Maine growing up. In particular, my father grew close to Maine as a boy and then passed on this connection to me when I was growing up. I love Maine and always will, thanks to my father.

2. His sense of humor

It doesn't seem all that long ago that I found myself cringing at my father's jokes as he'd usually be telling the same one over and over or retelling jokes from some comedian that used to perform back in the '60s . . . and then I noticed that I routinely quote funny lines from movies and shows over and over (such as TWSS) and over the years, have gotten more and more fond of movies like Young Frankenstein and comedians like Rodney Dangerfield . . . the funny thing is, regardless of my seemingly insurmountable dating ineptitude, the ladies always seem to think I'm pretty funny and for that, I can thank my father.

3. His appreciation for the past

He doesn't throw many things out, he loves to talk about the "good old days", and he often talks about movies, actors, friends, and events that to me, are in a galaxy far, far away. Why is this important to me? It's taught me that you should never forget where you came from and always try to learn from your past mistakes. In particular, the past provides us with an opportunity to reflect on both what has been and what could have been; my appreciation of this has allowed me to put certain things behind me, while learning from other things so I can become a better man. It's also taught me that one should never forget old friends.

4. His love for jazz and Frank

My taste in music ranges far and wide but I have a special place in my heart for Frank Sinatra and jazz. I have my father to thank for getting me into Ol' Blue Eyes, and with the jazz, I feel connected to the grandfather I never had the privilege of meeting, but whose name I am thankful my father and mother chose for me.

5. His love of basketball

As a kid, I always considered basketball to be my best sport and it was consistently the one I enjoyed playing the most. My only regret is that I never developed the jump shot my father apparently had going during his Silver Lake High School days in the late '50s. Even though my father still loves high school and college basketball, over the last several years he has lost a little love for the NBA (and that's putting it nicely). Even so, he puts up with my steadfast support for all things Boston Celtics (even that overpaid stiff Pierce!) and for that, I am thankful :)

6. His past international travels

During his short stint in the US Army, my father spent a lot of time traveling in Europe while he was stationed in France. Later in life, he spent a lot of time going on cruises throughout the Caribbean. While I didn't spend any time abroad during college, afterwards I decided to take the plunge and spend nearly two months in Asia where I met some amazing people who I am still friends with today. After that, I hit Dubai and Zurich. Who knows what's next but my love for all things ex-US and my willingness to look to international waters for fun and memories all comes back to my father.

7. His mother and father

Grandma Duffy taught me the value of real estate (and a great pot of baked beans!) and Grandpa Smith (through my father) inspired me to try foods like alligator and develop a love for the woods. More importantly, I can tell how much my father loved his parents and that has made me realize the importance of family and how your parents should be always be respected and coveted by their children.

8. His love for reading

My mother always talks about how I started reading at a very young age and how my father would read aloud to me before I could do it myself. While my father always says that I got all of my "brains" from my mother, I know better. I have learned so much through reading and like to think that my ability to think about things from a "big picture perspective", as well as to appreciate the details, is due in part to the amount of reading I've done over the years. From The Hardy Boys to organic chemistry textbooks, I've always had my head in a book and will always have a book close by, no matter where I am.

9. His "whiskers"

While it's been years since I got my last one, my father used to give my brothers and I a "whisker" when we were kids. Basically he'd put his arm around one of us and rub his face against our own whenever it had been a few days since he last shaved. I know it sounds silly and seems like a funny way to show affection but while my father has transitioned to giving our hair an occasional tussle or patting us on the back now and then, I don't think anything will ever top the "whisker".

10. His unwavering love and support

I've screwed up more times than I can count and while many of us do while we're kids, my ability to make bonehead decisions continues to be a regular part of my existence. Whenever I've needed something, my father has always been there for me, no questions asked. We may not always see eye to eye on things but no matter how stubborn or stupid I behave, he always does everything he can to help me out. Despite all of the trials and tribulations I've experienced to this point of my life, I'm pretty happy with how I've turned out and I know that I wouldn't be where I am, nor who I am, if it wasn't for my father.

I hope my father will read this tonight (actually, I can pretty much guarantee it given the close eye he keeps on my Facebook page) and see that I love him for many different reasons.

I love you Dad and Happy Father's Day!

Beach Network: Essentials

I recently got out for my first beach day and I realized that if you're a beach lover, if you want to maximize the overall sum of your beach experiences, you need a proper beach network. What's a beach network? I'd describe it as a collection of people, places and items that are leveraged in order to capitalize on all of one's opportunities to be at the beach . . . yeah, it definitely took me 30 minutes to come up with that definition.

In short, if you're a beach guy (or gal), you're going to need several critical assets in order to get the most out of your beach times. In no particular order, here are the key components that any beach lover should have within their beach network:

The one with a beach house

Many of us are fortunate to grow up in a family that has one of their own . . . but many of us aren't. The solution? Make sure you have a friend that fits into the former group. You won't always be able to take advantage, particularly once you're out of college and this friend may not be in a position to re-create scenes from American Pie 2 every weekend. That aside, said friend will typically always reserve a couple of weekends when you can count on an invite and get ready to live out your best "One Crazy Summer" scenes such as this one.

The one who lives near a beach

Not quite as sexy as the one with the house but if they're near a beach, you can always stop there on the way to pick up anything you might have forgotten (such as a chair or cooler) and/or you can drop in on your way back for a quick shower, a mojito, or something cool I don't even know about.

The one who loves the beach as much as you

Unless you're a solo beach artist, this is an absolute must. Having someone that can identify with your passion, can join you from time to time when you're eager for company, and who under no circumstances will ever say something like "So how long are we going to stay?" 30 minutes after arrival, is critical.

The one who goes to the beach once every five years

Why is this essential? He or she keeps things interesting. They may not share the same love you have but for those random times they show up, it'll give you a fresh set of eyes and may bring something new to your beach table. However, if you find they're only taking things off the beach table, find yourself a new option.

The beach chair

This was something I didn't truly appreciate until a few years ago when I shifted from the "I'm going to spend 95% of my time walking back and forth with my abs flexed and see how many girls look at me after I've had a cooler of rum runner" beach day to "I'm going to bathe myself in SPF 12, rock Jack Johnson on my iPod, read Twilight (cringing) until my eyes get heavy, and then pass out for 6 hrs" beach day. I'll still do the occasional up and down walk (sans ab flex) however the majority of my time is spent rocking the chair.

The one with a jeep or convertible

I consider myself lucky to have a convertible and to also have a buddy with a jeep. There's nothing that gets me fired up for the beach more than putting the top down or jumping into a doorless jeep, throwing the music on, grabbing an iced coffee, and feeling the wind in your hair and the sun on your face as you head towards the sand . . . there's also nothing better than being in one of these vehicles on your way back from the beach; when the sun's heading down, the breeze picks up, you've got Sinatra on the dial, your feet are covered in sand, and there's a hint of coconut tanning oil in the air, I'm not sure that the start of a summer evening can get any better.

The beach snack

Everyone that goes to the beach has their snack of choice. For some it's Swedish Fish, for others it's Goldfish. There was a time when my cooler would have nothing but protein bars, baby carrots, and wheat pita bread slices . . . but then I realized that eating Cape Cod potato chips is infinitely more enjoyable.

The beach cologne/perfume

Over the years, there have been many and in many ways, all have paralleled my style and/or prevailing behavior of the times: A&F's Fierce, CK One Summer, G. Armani's Acqua Di Gio, Issey Miyake, and many others. I always wonder how my beach experiences might have been enhanced were I to have the scent championed by one Mr. Cosmo Kramer.

The sandals

Think function over flash - they may be worn, but your feet will thank you for them.

The lazy beach

Rough week at the office? Looking to avoid a bunch of screaming toddlers and long lines at the clam shack? You need an option that provides calm waves, lots of space, a favorable parking situation, and a clear path to the sand.

The beach by the lake

With all of the time I've spent at Sebago Lake over the years, I've developed a strong appreciation for all of the differences between beaches by the ocean and those by the lake. I'll hold on discussing all of them here as it would probably warrant it's own post but what I would say is that if you're into the beach as much as I am, I think it's key that you maintain some beach balance and make sure you have a freshwater option. Not convinced you need a beach option at the lake? Maybe this scene will help sway you.

The "Hey Everybody! We're All Gonna Get Laid!" beach

Single? Looking? Do you enjoy having alcohol readily available while you're at the beach? Do you enjoy having lots of men and women with morally casual attitudes nearby when you're at the beach? If so, you're going to need an option that will provide you with babes, booze, boys, and lots of hook-up potential. In particular, you need a beach that'll make you exclaim this whenever you arrive.

The beach beverage

It could be a summer ale, Sparks, or a concoction that is 4 parts rum, 1 part fruit juice, and 2 parts ice. While I'd attempt cartwheels naked for regular doses of sangria and/or mojitos at the beach, there are certain logistical challenges to having those readily available (at a level of quality you're accustomed to having in a bar setting). The solution? Go with a killer beer (don't forget the Solo cups) or get your rum punch filled cooler on.

Other critical items I'm too lazy to write about but am listing because I can't ignore their importance

The beach bag, the beach wardrobe, the beach towel, the beach bar, the beach music, the beach book/magazine, the beach sunglasses, the beach game, and the destination beach.

Anything I've missed? What do you love most about the beach? Any beach haters out there? Being single at the beach versus being with the family and/or kids at the beach . . . thoughts? Favorite beach music? Favorite beach beverage? Let me know what you think and if I'm slow to respond, it's probably because I'm beaching it!

One of these days . . .

I'll remember to have an umbrella handy when it's raining.

I'll go talk to that girl sitting in the corner.

Ed and I will go back to Bermuda . . . and probably behave like this:






I won't have that last drink.

I'll install the towel ring I bought at Restoration Hardware . . . since buying it, the Restoration Hardware store has closed and a Tannery has opened in the same location after extensive renovations.

I will play volleyball again.

I will run a marathon in less than 3 hrs, 30 minutes.














I will live in a city other than Boston.
 

I will own a place at Point Sebago.














I will make myself proud.

I will cook for myself more than once a week.

I will write a book.

I will go to one of the restaurants my Dad has told me about.

I'll go back to school . . . again . . . kidding.














I will take my Mom ice skating.

I will be a VP.

I will watch the rest of the 4th season of The OC.











I will go back to London.

I will remember not to say "that's funny" after someone tells a joke that isn't funny.

I will stop striking poses such as this one:










(and also hold on combining green and navy rugby scarves with pink sweaters).

I will throw out my ripped jeans from Hollister.

I will have just one mortgage on my balance sheet.

I will host a Preppy Party at some place other than my apartment.

I will realize that liking Twilight isn't all that minty . . . (yeah, this probably won't happen)






I will try brewing my own beer.

I will pass out on a Plymouth sandbar again.

I will successfully perform a magic trick.








I will go fly fishing again.

I will do something immediately after a person tells me to do it.

I will check my mail more than once a week.

I will do my own laundry more than once a month.

I will find a way to show my parents how much they mean to me.

I won't cry at the end of Forever Young.

I'll take my Uncle Richard to a Celtics game . . . althought I'm not sure I'll be able to score the first two folding chairs at center court . . .

I'll tell my brothers how much I really love them.














I'll stop worrying about if and when I'm ever going to get married.

I'll grow my hair out again.

I'll give my dream of becoming a J.Crew model a more serious shot.

I will get my six pack back.















I will fly a kite.

I will reach my potential.

I will visit another wonder of the world.




I will not think to myself "I can just do that later."

I will start drinking Diet Coke again.

I will put the top down when it's raining.

I will cry because I feel alone.

I will do something truly special with my oldest friend. 









I won't get caught looking.

I won't say "That's what she said." at least twice a day.

I'll realize that things could be worse.

I'll realize that things could be better.

I'll realize that some things are out of our control.

I'll realize which things are in our control.

I will grow up.

Carpe Diem

“Seizing the day” is a concept we’re all familiar with and that each of us practices to some degree. I’ve often wondered if there’s a “best” amount of carpe diem that we should all aspire to have . . . or if like everything else in life, it’s variable and depends on the person.

Many argue that there’s no alternative to carpe diem; if there’s an opportunity to do something exciting or great, go for it. “You might never have this chance again! What are you waiting for?! Do it!” Is this a reasonable philosophy to embrace throughout one’s life? Maybe . . . but I’m guessing that a low percentage of the population would agree.

Carpe diem is a tough thing to practice and an even tougher thing to come to terms with. I’ve struggled mightily with it in the past and I’m pretty sure I’ll do so again in the future. I wonder if this is a healthy thing and/or if I’m alone. As I’ve matured over the years (yes, I can hear you laughing), I’ve learned that you can’t realistically go for everything and that life is all about choices. Opportunity cost is bigger than we think and it can drive you crazy. I think what’s most important from a mental health perspective is being able to say to oneself “I know why I decided not to go for that and I can live with it” . . . in other words, I think carpe diem and “no regrets” go hand in hand. I think it’s also about being smart and recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses; if you’re thinking about carpe diem as an investment portfolio, go heavy in things you’re more likely to enjoy and/or achieve happiness with and go light in the riskier one-offs and opportunities that are more likely to end in failure. Overall, it may be true that it’s better to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all but if in advance of trying, you haven’t come to grips with the reality of failure, it can be argued that you should hold on buying.

In honor of all things carpe diem, I thought I’d share a list of characters that all practice seizing the day . . . but to varying degrees. As with my past presentations of character lists, I’m hoping some of you will suggest additions that can help round out the group.

The Couch Potato

Seize the day? They’d rather seize the remote. In other words, there isn’t anything they’re getting excited about and if an opportunity presents itself, they aren’t seeing it, they’ll ignore it, and/or they’ll find a way out of it.

The Dabbler

Generally doesn’t make any big moves but on occasion, he or she will give something a shot just to say they tried it. Selected examples include: kissing a (non-family) member of the same sex, going commando, having a second piece of pie, putting maple syrup on pizza, drinking a Three Wise Men, and listening to Taylor Swift (at high volume) on an iPod in a men’s locker room. Also, they're prone to spontaneous episodes of doing the opposite of what they'd normally do . . .

The One-time Half Marathoner

They run a few miles on the treadmill a couple of times a week. They may do a 5K road race once a year or a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. Then one day they decide (often through peer pressure or an inspirational story) that they’d like to push themselves just a bit further . . . they do it . . . they get really drunk after . . . and they never do it again . . . (they’ll get drunk many more times but you can forget about another half marathon).

The Philanthropist

If it wasn’t for charity or to help a good cause, they wouldn’t be doing it.

The Family Man (or Woman)

His or her carpe diem moves generally trend with the theme of practicality: a new loan mower, splurging on that big trip to Disney, or opting to invite the couple nobody likes to a Saturday BBQ. Like this guy, they are occasionally prone to intense moments of passion in order to make sure their hard work to seize the day pays off for everyone.

The Strategic Opportunist

Overall, they may live a cushy Nerf life but it doesn’t mean they aren’t waiting and willing to jump at the right moment. Selected examples include: buying stocks instead of mutual funds, going for something other than missionary when their long-term partner has had a few drinks, and stealing second in a company softball game. Ultimately, this individual is willing to deal with the consequences should things not work out and by being selective with his or her opportunities, their overall carpe diem balance should be fairly stable. What separates this individual from The Dabbler? Higher risk, higher returns.

The Lloyd Christmas

They’ll do anything for love.

The Career Development Man (or Woman)

They may not take risks or try new things in their personal lives but in the office, if they see a chance to get involved with a new project, join a new team, or get a promotion, they’re dropping everything and going for it. For reference, the guy in the picture below is apparently taking a different approach to his career . . .

The Hailey

Remember the episode during the first season of The OC when Kirsten’s sister Hailey shows up and drama unfolds because she can’t act like an adult? . . . (crickets) . . . anyway, Hailey was someone consumed with having fun all the time and as a result, hadn’t yet learned any adult responsibilities . . . she basically practiced carpe diem to the extreme. I’ve met people like Hailey before and like Kirsten, I’ve often wondered if they’re really having any fun . . .

So what do you think about carpe diem? Is it important to you? Do you practice it frequently? Do you practice it at all? Do you struggle with it? Do you struggle with regrets? My followers and I want to hear from you!

Stay classy,

Russ

The Looks Women Give One Another: They Ain't Pretty

I've been on a bit of a hiatus w/r/t blogging but on the way out of the gym this morning, it suddenly hit me: I know what I can write about next! In fact, I actually witnessed an example of today's topic in real time and was so moved by it, I knew I had to write about it immediately.

(More importantly, this morning's revelation made me feel like I'm starting to sense a theme to my writing: a little bit pop culture, a little bit human behavior, a little bit minty . . . ok so maybe these things don't really form a cohesive whole but whatevs. Maybe it's the randomness of my writing w/r/t topics that makes it so endearing to my 10 followers? . . . either way, I'm back baby!)

What did I see on my way out of the gym? I am coming down the hallway and see a woman who appears to be peering down the hall in my direction. As I get closer, I see a second woman approaching from the left who is essentially crossing in front of the first woman . . . and as my eyes move back to the first woman, I see her giving the second woman a prolonged, up and down visual review, with a look on her face that was a combination of "wow", "ugh", and "FYL" . . .

Now I have no idea what this first woman was thinking and why she gave the look she did. Maybe she was having a bad day and was just glaring at everyone she saw. Maybe the first woman's former husband had cheated on her with the second woman. Maybe the second woman was wearing Sex Panther for women. However, regardless of the specific reason(s) behind the dirty look, this is just one small example of a behavior I've witnessed an infinite number of times among the ladies. Based on my high degree of knowledge around this particular phenomenon, my high understanding of women in general (insert any and all jokes here), and my discussions with several women over the years about this behavior, here are some of my suggested and/or probable reasons for why woman A is glaring at and/or giving woman B a negative look:

1) Woman B is dressed like a whore, tramp, slut, and/or morally casual individual
2) Woman B is dressed in a way that Woman A wishes she could dress like (such as a whore, tramp, slut, and/or morally casual individual), but just can't and/or won't pull it off for any number of reasons (her figure, she's married, she has kids, her morals, etc.)
3) Woman B is acting like she's having a blast and Woman A just thinks she's too outgoing and/or loud (in this case, Woman A is usually having a bad time)
4) Woman B is younger than Woman A and Woman A feels old looking at her
5) Woman B has guys surrounding her and Woman A can't understand why
6) Woman B has guys surrounding her and Woman A doesn't
7) Woman B has a great body and Woman A thinks she doesn't
8) Woman B has a great body and Woman A doesn't
9) Woman B is making out with a guy and Woman A isn't
10) Woman B is making out with a guy that Woman A wants to make out with
11) Woman B is making out with a guy and this offends Woman A because she thinks it's a little bit much but in reality, Woman A just wants to make out with the guy
12) Woman B has done something specific to offend Woman A such as saying something rude or giving Woman A a dirty look . . . for the record, I think this reason fits maybe . . . 0.00000004% of the time
13) Woman B is drunk and Woman A isn't (or Woman A isn't drunk enough to ignore her)
14) Woman B is sober and Woman A is shattered
15) Any combination of the above reasons (which is the case more often than not)

There could obviously be 400,000 other reasons and I'd love to hear from you on what you think other ones might be . . . for example, in this picture, I'm pretty sure the dirty look isn't rooted in any of the reasons above:

I know that women tend to size other women up because it's a natural behavior intertwined with our DNA and evolutionary history (think women competing for men, etc. and you'll get the drift) but I also know things like pop culture, the focus on beauty and material possessions in the media, and feelings of insecurity and/or a lack of confidence must also play a role. In particular, I wonder if in today's world, women are feeling more self-conscious and/or disconcerted with themselves or other women, and are therefore tossing around more dirty looks than they were 20 years ago . . .

Now I'm not going to pretend like guys don't engage in this behavior too and that it isn't rooted in reasons similar to those above; guys definitely check one another out (in both minty and non-minty fashion) and will give one another dirty looks from time to time (or maybe all the time) but I figured I'd call out the behavior as observed among women given . . . well, I like women, haha. Also, I thought it was about time I tried writing about a topic that might generate a few haters as I've heard that having people dislike you is one of the keys to becoming big in the media world . . . which should obviously be my number one goal given my dream of becoming a J.Crew model :)

Hope to hear from you on this phenomenon/behavior and in particular, would love to know if you think it's more prevalent among women than in men!