One of these days . . .

I'll remember to have an umbrella handy when it's raining.

I'll go talk to that girl sitting in the corner.

Ed and I will go back to Bermuda . . . and probably behave like this:






I won't have that last drink.

I'll install the towel ring I bought at Restoration Hardware . . . since buying it, the Restoration Hardware store has closed and a Tannery has opened in the same location after extensive renovations.

I will play volleyball again.

I will run a marathon in less than 3 hrs, 30 minutes.














I will live in a city other than Boston.
 

I will own a place at Point Sebago.














I will make myself proud.

I will cook for myself more than once a week.

I will write a book.

I will go to one of the restaurants my Dad has told me about.

I'll go back to school . . . again . . . kidding.














I will take my Mom ice skating.

I will be a VP.

I will watch the rest of the 4th season of The OC.











I will go back to London.

I will remember not to say "that's funny" after someone tells a joke that isn't funny.

I will stop striking poses such as this one:










(and also hold on combining green and navy rugby scarves with pink sweaters).

I will throw out my ripped jeans from Hollister.

I will have just one mortgage on my balance sheet.

I will host a Preppy Party at some place other than my apartment.

I will realize that liking Twilight isn't all that minty . . . (yeah, this probably won't happen)






I will try brewing my own beer.

I will pass out on a Plymouth sandbar again.

I will successfully perform a magic trick.








I will go fly fishing again.

I will do something immediately after a person tells me to do it.

I will check my mail more than once a week.

I will do my own laundry more than once a month.

I will find a way to show my parents how much they mean to me.

I won't cry at the end of Forever Young.

I'll take my Uncle Richard to a Celtics game . . . althought I'm not sure I'll be able to score the first two folding chairs at center court . . .

I'll tell my brothers how much I really love them.














I'll stop worrying about if and when I'm ever going to get married.

I'll grow my hair out again.

I'll give my dream of becoming a J.Crew model a more serious shot.

I will get my six pack back.















I will fly a kite.

I will reach my potential.

I will visit another wonder of the world.




I will not think to myself "I can just do that later."

I will start drinking Diet Coke again.

I will put the top down when it's raining.

I will cry because I feel alone.

I will do something truly special with my oldest friend. 









I won't get caught looking.

I won't say "That's what she said." at least twice a day.

I'll realize that things could be worse.

I'll realize that things could be better.

I'll realize that some things are out of our control.

I'll realize which things are in our control.

I will grow up.

Carpe Diem

“Seizing the day” is a concept we’re all familiar with and that each of us practices to some degree. I’ve often wondered if there’s a “best” amount of carpe diem that we should all aspire to have . . . or if like everything else in life, it’s variable and depends on the person.

Many argue that there’s no alternative to carpe diem; if there’s an opportunity to do something exciting or great, go for it. “You might never have this chance again! What are you waiting for?! Do it!” Is this a reasonable philosophy to embrace throughout one’s life? Maybe . . . but I’m guessing that a low percentage of the population would agree.

Carpe diem is a tough thing to practice and an even tougher thing to come to terms with. I’ve struggled mightily with it in the past and I’m pretty sure I’ll do so again in the future. I wonder if this is a healthy thing and/or if I’m alone. As I’ve matured over the years (yes, I can hear you laughing), I’ve learned that you can’t realistically go for everything and that life is all about choices. Opportunity cost is bigger than we think and it can drive you crazy. I think what’s most important from a mental health perspective is being able to say to oneself “I know why I decided not to go for that and I can live with it” . . . in other words, I think carpe diem and “no regrets” go hand in hand. I think it’s also about being smart and recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses; if you’re thinking about carpe diem as an investment portfolio, go heavy in things you’re more likely to enjoy and/or achieve happiness with and go light in the riskier one-offs and opportunities that are more likely to end in failure. Overall, it may be true that it’s better to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all but if in advance of trying, you haven’t come to grips with the reality of failure, it can be argued that you should hold on buying.

In honor of all things carpe diem, I thought I’d share a list of characters that all practice seizing the day . . . but to varying degrees. As with my past presentations of character lists, I’m hoping some of you will suggest additions that can help round out the group.

The Couch Potato

Seize the day? They’d rather seize the remote. In other words, there isn’t anything they’re getting excited about and if an opportunity presents itself, they aren’t seeing it, they’ll ignore it, and/or they’ll find a way out of it.

The Dabbler

Generally doesn’t make any big moves but on occasion, he or she will give something a shot just to say they tried it. Selected examples include: kissing a (non-family) member of the same sex, going commando, having a second piece of pie, putting maple syrup on pizza, drinking a Three Wise Men, and listening to Taylor Swift (at high volume) on an iPod in a men’s locker room. Also, they're prone to spontaneous episodes of doing the opposite of what they'd normally do . . .

The One-time Half Marathoner

They run a few miles on the treadmill a couple of times a week. They may do a 5K road race once a year or a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. Then one day they decide (often through peer pressure or an inspirational story) that they’d like to push themselves just a bit further . . . they do it . . . they get really drunk after . . . and they never do it again . . . (they’ll get drunk many more times but you can forget about another half marathon).

The Philanthropist

If it wasn’t for charity or to help a good cause, they wouldn’t be doing it.

The Family Man (or Woman)

His or her carpe diem moves generally trend with the theme of practicality: a new loan mower, splurging on that big trip to Disney, or opting to invite the couple nobody likes to a Saturday BBQ. Like this guy, they are occasionally prone to intense moments of passion in order to make sure their hard work to seize the day pays off for everyone.

The Strategic Opportunist

Overall, they may live a cushy Nerf life but it doesn’t mean they aren’t waiting and willing to jump at the right moment. Selected examples include: buying stocks instead of mutual funds, going for something other than missionary when their long-term partner has had a few drinks, and stealing second in a company softball game. Ultimately, this individual is willing to deal with the consequences should things not work out and by being selective with his or her opportunities, their overall carpe diem balance should be fairly stable. What separates this individual from The Dabbler? Higher risk, higher returns.

The Lloyd Christmas

They’ll do anything for love.

The Career Development Man (or Woman)

They may not take risks or try new things in their personal lives but in the office, if they see a chance to get involved with a new project, join a new team, or get a promotion, they’re dropping everything and going for it. For reference, the guy in the picture below is apparently taking a different approach to his career . . .

The Hailey

Remember the episode during the first season of The OC when Kirsten’s sister Hailey shows up and drama unfolds because she can’t act like an adult? . . . (crickets) . . . anyway, Hailey was someone consumed with having fun all the time and as a result, hadn’t yet learned any adult responsibilities . . . she basically practiced carpe diem to the extreme. I’ve met people like Hailey before and like Kirsten, I’ve often wondered if they’re really having any fun . . .

So what do you think about carpe diem? Is it important to you? Do you practice it frequently? Do you practice it at all? Do you struggle with it? Do you struggle with regrets? My followers and I want to hear from you!

Stay classy,

Russ

The Looks Women Give One Another: They Ain't Pretty

I've been on a bit of a hiatus w/r/t blogging but on the way out of the gym this morning, it suddenly hit me: I know what I can write about next! In fact, I actually witnessed an example of today's topic in real time and was so moved by it, I knew I had to write about it immediately.

(More importantly, this morning's revelation made me feel like I'm starting to sense a theme to my writing: a little bit pop culture, a little bit human behavior, a little bit minty . . . ok so maybe these things don't really form a cohesive whole but whatevs. Maybe it's the randomness of my writing w/r/t topics that makes it so endearing to my 10 followers? . . . either way, I'm back baby!)

What did I see on my way out of the gym? I am coming down the hallway and see a woman who appears to be peering down the hall in my direction. As I get closer, I see a second woman approaching from the left who is essentially crossing in front of the first woman . . . and as my eyes move back to the first woman, I see her giving the second woman a prolonged, up and down visual review, with a look on her face that was a combination of "wow", "ugh", and "FYL" . . .

Now I have no idea what this first woman was thinking and why she gave the look she did. Maybe she was having a bad day and was just glaring at everyone she saw. Maybe the first woman's former husband had cheated on her with the second woman. Maybe the second woman was wearing Sex Panther for women. However, regardless of the specific reason(s) behind the dirty look, this is just one small example of a behavior I've witnessed an infinite number of times among the ladies. Based on my high degree of knowledge around this particular phenomenon, my high understanding of women in general (insert any and all jokes here), and my discussions with several women over the years about this behavior, here are some of my suggested and/or probable reasons for why woman A is glaring at and/or giving woman B a negative look:

1) Woman B is dressed like a whore, tramp, slut, and/or morally casual individual
2) Woman B is dressed in a way that Woman A wishes she could dress like (such as a whore, tramp, slut, and/or morally casual individual), but just can't and/or won't pull it off for any number of reasons (her figure, she's married, she has kids, her morals, etc.)
3) Woman B is acting like she's having a blast and Woman A just thinks she's too outgoing and/or loud (in this case, Woman A is usually having a bad time)
4) Woman B is younger than Woman A and Woman A feels old looking at her
5) Woman B has guys surrounding her and Woman A can't understand why
6) Woman B has guys surrounding her and Woman A doesn't
7) Woman B has a great body and Woman A thinks she doesn't
8) Woman B has a great body and Woman A doesn't
9) Woman B is making out with a guy and Woman A isn't
10) Woman B is making out with a guy that Woman A wants to make out with
11) Woman B is making out with a guy and this offends Woman A because she thinks it's a little bit much but in reality, Woman A just wants to make out with the guy
12) Woman B has done something specific to offend Woman A such as saying something rude or giving Woman A a dirty look . . . for the record, I think this reason fits maybe . . . 0.00000004% of the time
13) Woman B is drunk and Woman A isn't (or Woman A isn't drunk enough to ignore her)
14) Woman B is sober and Woman A is shattered
15) Any combination of the above reasons (which is the case more often than not)

There could obviously be 400,000 other reasons and I'd love to hear from you on what you think other ones might be . . . for example, in this picture, I'm pretty sure the dirty look isn't rooted in any of the reasons above:

I know that women tend to size other women up because it's a natural behavior intertwined with our DNA and evolutionary history (think women competing for men, etc. and you'll get the drift) but I also know things like pop culture, the focus on beauty and material possessions in the media, and feelings of insecurity and/or a lack of confidence must also play a role. In particular, I wonder if in today's world, women are feeling more self-conscious and/or disconcerted with themselves or other women, and are therefore tossing around more dirty looks than they were 20 years ago . . .

Now I'm not going to pretend like guys don't engage in this behavior too and that it isn't rooted in reasons similar to those above; guys definitely check one another out (in both minty and non-minty fashion) and will give one another dirty looks from time to time (or maybe all the time) but I figured I'd call out the behavior as observed among women given . . . well, I like women, haha. Also, I thought it was about time I tried writing about a topic that might generate a few haters as I've heard that having people dislike you is one of the keys to becoming big in the media world . . . which should obviously be my number one goal given my dream of becoming a J.Crew model :)

Hope to hear from you on this phenomenon/behavior and in particular, would love to know if you think it's more prevalent among women than in men!

The Coffee Experience

I thought it would be fun to write a bit about my love for coffee as I've always considered it one of my greatest passions. In particular, it got me thinking . . . why do I love it so much? Many would say it's due to its addictive properties and I know that those are partly to blame. However, when I think about coffee, I think about so many things besides it's taste and how I feel afterwards . . . I think about the experiences that are connected to it.

When I think about coffee, I think about mornings at my parents' house, sitting at the kitchen table with my Mom while my Dad is at the computer, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

When I think about coffee, I remember being at the cafeteria at Bates College after dinner, filling up two paper cups with a combination of coffee and cocoa powder (a "poor man's mocha"), and then stacking them on top of one another for easy travel to the library.

When I think about coffee, I remember being at a cafe in Dubai with my buddy Val, sitting outside as the sun was going down late in the afternoon, just hanging out and joking around.

When I think about coffee, I picture being by Sebago Lake in Maine in the morning, walking barefoot in the sand, as I carry a mug, a book, and a chair to the beach.

When I think about coffee, I picture having dessert on Thanksgiving with my family, with a big cup of Dunkin Donuts accompanying my pumpkin pie and ice cream.

When I think about coffee, I see crazy weekends in Medford with J.T. and Payne, having recovery afternoons before we got ready for another wild night, and making sure iced venti nonfat white mochas were in the mix.

When I think about coffee, I'm in Zurich on a cold January afternoon, a tourist on a mission, trekking from cafe to cafe and trying a cappuccino at each one . . . and recording each visit with a photograph such as the one above.

When I think about coffee, my favorite show Seinfeld comes to mind along with all of my favorite coffee shop scenes. And for the record, just like Jerry, I get my coffee on the outside!

When I think about coffee, I think about a first date when a fun conversation kept going and going . . . and eventually led to dinner :)

When I think about coffee, I remember being in a hospital bed and my Mom bringing me iced coffee and maple scones when she visited . . . truly one of the only things I had to look forward to at the time.

To me, coffee is all about the experience and it always will be - so many great memories are connected to it and so many moments in the future will be. I've laughed with coffee and cried with coffee, kissed with coffee and yelled with coffee, triumphed with coffee and failed with coffee, dreamed with coffee and woken with coffee, loved with coffee and hated with coffee. Ultimately, I have lived with coffee . . . and I always will.

In closing, I share with you the best part about my coffee experiences: I can definitely drink coffee late in the day and be just fine . . . unlike this guy.

I'd love to hear about your feelings for coffee and to know if you feel the same way that I do . . . that coffee is all about the experience!

My Top 25 Comedies . . . in no particular order

As many of you know, one of my biggest influencers is Bill Simmons. Bill has written many articles over the years in which he breaks down individual movies, lists his favorite movies and/or moments within certain genres, and/or weaves memorable movie quotes into his commentary on sports and pop culture. Naturally it's only fitting that I get involved in writing something similar and over the weekend, I chatted with several friends about the idea of writing about my favorite comedies.

My original plan was to actually do this in two parts (in an ode to a two-part Simmons mailbag or other column) with 20-11 today and then 10-1 tomorrow. Additionally, I had planned to include a brief paragraph on each selection that would help explain my rationale for its positioning within the list. After a prolonged period of reflection on this plan that lasted maybe . . . 2 minutes, I decided to keep things simple for now and just get down what I feel are my favorite 25 comedies of all time, without any ranking among the 25. I chose 25 because the number 20 became too restrictive . . . as it is, numerous movies I love were kept out of the top 25 (I've listed many of them below such that you can either support or refute their exclusion) and I also excluded many movies that I find funny because I didn't feel they were true comedies (you can find examples of these listed below as well).

Despite the lack of ranking below and my feeling that comfortably doing so would be next to impossible for me, I can unequivocally say that my favorite comedy of all time is Dumb and Dumber . . . I challenge you to come up with a compelling argument for why any other movie ever made is funnier . . . in fact, I think I'll dedicate a post in the future to breaking down why I think Dumb and Dumber is the funniest comedy ever . . . in any event, it's just my opinion but if your opinion differs . . . well, you're just an idiot :)

Criteria used to make my selections

1. Rewatchability: how well does the movie hold up if you watch it a second time or in the case of Animal House, a 43rd time?
2. Quotability: how often do I quote lines from the movie in my daily interactions with others? For example, I probably use the expression "someone with a morally casual attitude" at least . . . 5 times a week . . . not to describe myself of course . . .
3. Laugh-out-loud moments: how many times did I actually open my mouth to laugh as opposed to just smirking? For example, during the opening montage of Wedding Crashers, I usually laugh out loud between 5 and 10 times at things Vince Vaughn does.
4. Unintentional comedy: how many moments are there that I find to be hilarious, yet were probably not intended to be? When Walter Peck says "May I please . . . see . . . the storage facility?" to Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters, I find this to be ridiculously funny . . . although I'm guessing most of the audience in the theater never did.

 With that, here are my top 25 comedies of all time:

• National Lampoon's Vacation
• Dumb and Dumber
• Spaceballs
• Ghostbusters
• Dazed and Confused
• Austin Powers
• National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
• Billy Madison
• Happy Gilmore
• Ace Ventura
• Wayne's World
• Old School
• American Pie
• Caddyshack
• Back to School
• Animal House
• Superbad
• Wedding Crashers
• Airplane
• Road Trip
• Anchorman
• The Wedding Singer  
• Monty Python and The Holy Grail
• Liar Liar
• Tommy Boy

Notable Exceptions

 

One big exception you may have already thought of is Blazing Saddles and my only reason for not including it in my Top 25 is because I have only seen bits and pieces of it and therefore don't have enough experience with it . . . also, I thought I Love You Man was hilarious but felt it was too new to include (and is it really a comedy?). The Hangover is also a very tough one to omit and if I were to put this list together a year from now, it would probably make it easily but for now, the ones I've listed above have stood the test of time and I can't leave them out! Other notable exceptions: Young Frankenstein, South Park The Movie, Bachelor Party, One Crazy Summer, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Major League, Austin Powers 2, Blades of Glory, Can't Hardly Wait, Clueless, Real Genius, Weird Science, Revenge of the Nerds, and Porky's.

 

Movies I find hilarious for many reasons but I excluded b/c I felt they fit into other genres

 

The Goonies, Beverly Hills Cop, Swingers, Back to the Future, Kindergarten Cop, Commando (chuckling), The Karate Kid, Sixteen Candles, 48 Hours, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Beetlejuice

 

What do you think? Any egregious omissions? Any that you're particularly flabbergasted about? Any movies I classified as non-comedies that you think should be deemed comedies (for the record, I did not go to IMDB.com or any other film-related website to identify proper genres so apologies in advance for my naivete). Let me know!

Customer Service: Should All Companies Make it a Focus?

A few days ago I was walking into my local Shaw's when a staff member greeted me at the door with a "How are you doing today, sir?" . . . WTF?!

I know Walmart has employed store greeters for years and some other places have caught on as well (Best Buy and Crate & Barrell are two others that come to mind) but a supermarket? Really? But you know what? I liked it.

All through business school, professors pounded the importance of customer service into our heads, declaring that any company or business with poor customer service wouldn't necessarily be doomed to fail, but it would be destined to underperform. In my experience as a consumer and as an amateur analyst of businesses, I've found this to be fairly accurate. In fact, I'm no longer surprised with the amount of variability and lack of consistency in customer service that I experience on a daily basis; some companies are good at it, others suck at it, and some just can't figure out what type of customer service they're supposed to provide. Perhaps what resonates with me most is the lack of inconsistency you'll find in customer service within a chain of retail stores or other type of business.

For example (cringing), you can walk into one J.Crew store and be greeted warmly by someone at the door, be approached by someone once to see if you might need any help finding anything, and are then left to enjoy your department(s) of interest at your leisure. You go into a second J.Crew store and you are ignored when you first walk in, approached by no less than five different staff members before you've even made it to the men's section, and you don't get offered a bottle of water or cookies when you're at the register! Ok, so the last one is something they only do during the holidays but you get my point, right?

For a long time now, many businesses have included customer service in their corporate values or mission, hoping that this will help recruit the right employees and also create a focus on providing good customer service throughout the company. However, clearly this isn't enough. In particular, many companies have gone a step further and started to tie customer service to performance ratings, both at the business unit and the employee level. I think this is a good strategy and should help ensure that employees will focus on providing good customer service . . . well, in theory it will; if you were being judged in part based on your level of customer service, and knew your compensation and/or likelihood for advancement was directly tied to it, wouldn't you focus on it?

With today's economy, not to mention the numerous and varied drivers of revenues and profits, how much should companies invest in customer service? I know the short answer is "it depends" but I am curious as to whether or not there have been formulas or algorithms developed to help answer this question . . . I am sure many academics and executives have already researched and written on this topic but I am too lazy to go to Google this morning . . . additionally, I completed this blog post last night but it was mysteriously lost/deleted by Blogger so . . . yeah, I just want to get this thing posted, haha.

Another thing to consider is that the definition of what makes customer service "good" can vary from person to person so a form of customer service that can be catered to the individual may be more likely to succeed in the long run . . . but then again, it depends :) Furthermore, the level of customer service anticipated varies considerably depending on the business . . . if you call Comcast, you expect professionalism and efficiency - if you complain to someone at McDonald's that your fries are too salty, you're really just hoping for a set of replacement fries . . . a smile, an apology, and a free gift card as well? Probably not happening. After all, isn't all customer service at McDonald's like this?

So what do you all think? Which companies and/or services can get away with shoddy customer service? Which ones wouldn't exist today without great customer service? Which ones need to improve? Which ones need to dial it down a notch? As for Shaw's, will I visit this particular store more often b/c of their store greeters? Nope. But will my experience there be a little bit better and is it possible there will be some day in the future when a "How are you doing today, sir?" upon my arrival will help turn around a bad day? Yup. In particular, even if customer service programs and initiatives don't impact the bottom line, they can still help with customer retention and satisfaction.

I'll leave you with this clip which I love because it captures the way I always deal with bad customer service: humor.

Have a great weekend and see you next week!

CL

CL

I feel like it may turn out be Acronym Week as I thought that in today's post it would be fun to discuss (and perhaps introduce to some of you) a term my friends and I used to quote many moons ago . . . and that we'll still sometimes bring to the table on special occasions: CL.

CL stands for caught looking and as you may have quickly surmised, it refers to the act of being caught looking at a member of the opposite sex. At this page, you'll find the greatest collection of CL shots I've ever seen and after scrolling through it, I gave up trying to pick one to place at the header of this post . . . they're all just too amazing for words.

I can't take credit for CL and I'm not sure who is the originator but I remember my buddy Mark introducing me to it back in middle school . . . or maybe it was elementary school . . . although I'm pretty sure none of us were scoping girls in elementary school and given I was regularly sporting a NKOTB T-shirt like this one at that age, you can bet that girls were not what I was regularly getting caught looking at . . .

In what may be the greatest capture of CL in modern film, we see both the excitement of a daring look and the distress that can occur if one gets caught. Granted, this particular example shows a pretty bold move on the part of Michael Cera as not only does he have the girl behind him, but he's also holding his look for a good couple of seconds; this is quite daring and I'm not sure I would have tried this back when I was in high school . . . but that's probably b/c I was always too focused on the blackboard (nerd alert!)

One thing I will say about CL is that it's definitely something you can grow out of and in particular, something you can develop strategies against. Alcohol often helps with the shame of being caught looking because let's face it: if you're out at a bar, single, and drunk, isn't the whole point to lock up as many CL moments as possible?! Also, I think that as you gain experience interacting and flirting with members of the opposite sex, you develop a little more tact when it comes to stealing glances and looks at one (or some feature of one) who interests you . . . I say this because giving a quick glance at a girl on the treadmill next to me (without getting caught) is infinitely more manageable than it was back in college . . . then again I now run marathons for fun so perhaps this ability is in some way tied to my running skills.

Rather than go into detail about my all-time greatest moments in CL history (or dive into further analysis on the trials and tribulations associated with the CL experience), I thought it would be more fun to hear from you about the times and situations in which you've been caught looking; I'd love to hear about your funniest or most embarrassing CL moment so I hope you'll share them here!