Beach Network: Essentials

I recently got out for my first beach day and I realized that if you're a beach lover, if you want to maximize the overall sum of your beach experiences, you need a proper beach network. What's a beach network? I'd describe it as a collection of people, places and items that are leveraged in order to capitalize on all of one's opportunities to be at the beach . . . yeah, it definitely took me 30 minutes to come up with that definition.

In short, if you're a beach guy (or gal), you're going to need several critical assets in order to get the most out of your beach times. In no particular order, here are the key components that any beach lover should have within their beach network:

The one with a beach house

Many of us are fortunate to grow up in a family that has one of their own . . . but many of us aren't. The solution? Make sure you have a friend that fits into the former group. You won't always be able to take advantage, particularly once you're out of college and this friend may not be in a position to re-create scenes from American Pie 2 every weekend. That aside, said friend will typically always reserve a couple of weekends when you can count on an invite and get ready to live out your best "One Crazy Summer" scenes such as this one.

The one who lives near a beach

Not quite as sexy as the one with the house but if they're near a beach, you can always stop there on the way to pick up anything you might have forgotten (such as a chair or cooler) and/or you can drop in on your way back for a quick shower, a mojito, or something cool I don't even know about.

The one who loves the beach as much as you

Unless you're a solo beach artist, this is an absolute must. Having someone that can identify with your passion, can join you from time to time when you're eager for company, and who under no circumstances will ever say something like "So how long are we going to stay?" 30 minutes after arrival, is critical.

The one who goes to the beach once every five years

Why is this essential? He or she keeps things interesting. They may not share the same love you have but for those random times they show up, it'll give you a fresh set of eyes and may bring something new to your beach table. However, if you find they're only taking things off the beach table, find yourself a new option.

The beach chair

This was something I didn't truly appreciate until a few years ago when I shifted from the "I'm going to spend 95% of my time walking back and forth with my abs flexed and see how many girls look at me after I've had a cooler of rum runner" beach day to "I'm going to bathe myself in SPF 12, rock Jack Johnson on my iPod, read Twilight (cringing) until my eyes get heavy, and then pass out for 6 hrs" beach day. I'll still do the occasional up and down walk (sans ab flex) however the majority of my time is spent rocking the chair.

The one with a jeep or convertible

I consider myself lucky to have a convertible and to also have a buddy with a jeep. There's nothing that gets me fired up for the beach more than putting the top down or jumping into a doorless jeep, throwing the music on, grabbing an iced coffee, and feeling the wind in your hair and the sun on your face as you head towards the sand . . . there's also nothing better than being in one of these vehicles on your way back from the beach; when the sun's heading down, the breeze picks up, you've got Sinatra on the dial, your feet are covered in sand, and there's a hint of coconut tanning oil in the air, I'm not sure that the start of a summer evening can get any better.

The beach snack

Everyone that goes to the beach has their snack of choice. For some it's Swedish Fish, for others it's Goldfish. There was a time when my cooler would have nothing but protein bars, baby carrots, and wheat pita bread slices . . . but then I realized that eating Cape Cod potato chips is infinitely more enjoyable.

The beach cologne/perfume

Over the years, there have been many and in many ways, all have paralleled my style and/or prevailing behavior of the times: A&F's Fierce, CK One Summer, G. Armani's Acqua Di Gio, Issey Miyake, and many others. I always wonder how my beach experiences might have been enhanced were I to have the scent championed by one Mr. Cosmo Kramer.

The sandals

Think function over flash - they may be worn, but your feet will thank you for them.

The lazy beach

Rough week at the office? Looking to avoid a bunch of screaming toddlers and long lines at the clam shack? You need an option that provides calm waves, lots of space, a favorable parking situation, and a clear path to the sand.

The beach by the lake

With all of the time I've spent at Sebago Lake over the years, I've developed a strong appreciation for all of the differences between beaches by the ocean and those by the lake. I'll hold on discussing all of them here as it would probably warrant it's own post but what I would say is that if you're into the beach as much as I am, I think it's key that you maintain some beach balance and make sure you have a freshwater option. Not convinced you need a beach option at the lake? Maybe this scene will help sway you.

The "Hey Everybody! We're All Gonna Get Laid!" beach

Single? Looking? Do you enjoy having alcohol readily available while you're at the beach? Do you enjoy having lots of men and women with morally casual attitudes nearby when you're at the beach? If so, you're going to need an option that will provide you with babes, booze, boys, and lots of hook-up potential. In particular, you need a beach that'll make you exclaim this whenever you arrive.

The beach beverage

It could be a summer ale, Sparks, or a concoction that is 4 parts rum, 1 part fruit juice, and 2 parts ice. While I'd attempt cartwheels naked for regular doses of sangria and/or mojitos at the beach, there are certain logistical challenges to having those readily available (at a level of quality you're accustomed to having in a bar setting). The solution? Go with a killer beer (don't forget the Solo cups) or get your rum punch filled cooler on.

Other critical items I'm too lazy to write about but am listing because I can't ignore their importance

The beach bag, the beach wardrobe, the beach towel, the beach bar, the beach music, the beach book/magazine, the beach sunglasses, the beach game, and the destination beach.

Anything I've missed? What do you love most about the beach? Any beach haters out there? Being single at the beach versus being with the family and/or kids at the beach . . . thoughts? Favorite beach music? Favorite beach beverage? Let me know what you think and if I'm slow to respond, it's probably because I'm beaching it!